Never give up!

It was a beautiful sunny Games Day at our annual August Celebrations in New York. The teams were North America against Europe, playing soccer, a game Guru used to play at the Ashram and encouraged his disciples to play to foster dynamism, oneness and good old discipline.

It was an intense game and I was playing defence. One of our players pierced the defence of the European team but the goalie made a beautiful save and the European team made a couple of very fine passes. Suddenly one European player broke away and was coming towards our goalie. I was running after him as I had gone forward to help on the last play and was caught off guard. I ran with all the speed I could gather up and caught up with him. As he was about to kick the ball, I also swung my right foot to block and we both hit our own foot and collapsed on the ground. The game was stopped momentarily. My brother-disciple seems to have gotten the better of it as he was OK, but my foot had inflated in size. I had pulled something, probably a tendon.

Do not discard imagination.
Imagination is a solid power;
Imagination is a reality
In the higher worlds.

Sri Chinmoy 1

When I was a fairly new disciple, there was a period of time when I would make a point of getting up to meditate at 5:00 a.m.. Inwardly, I imagined that at 6:00 a.m. hundreds of disciples were sitting in front of Guru for morning meditation, causing me to feel somewhat lost in the crowd. As a result of this inner imagining, I came up with the idea that if I 'arrived' earlier than everyone else, then I would be able sit right in front of Guru and hopefully be the only one with him up until 6:00 a.m. Thus I began my 5:00 a.m. strategic meditations.

After several successful mornings of getting up at the appointed hour, I started to feel that it was imperative that I not be late or miss a morning because I believed that Guru would definitely notice and be very disappointed. Also, I was finding that when my alarm went off, my first thought would always be that Guru was waiting for me, so it became very easy to get up to meditate. I would actually feel excited. In time, this entire experience began to blossom into a wonderful inner relationship with Guru. What started out as imaginary began to take on a precious reality.

A few weeks later, I travelled to New York for a weekend visit. I was very excited at the thought of seeing Guru but, at the same time, I was not expecting any kind of attention. I felt that as I was a new disciple, he still did not really know me outwardly. However, when I went up for prasad, Guru looked at me, gave a big smile and uttered what seemed to be a delighted exclamation of recognition, as though he was extremely happy to finally be able to put a face to the soul who was visiting him each morning.

At that moment, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that an inner relationship with Guru is far more real to him than an outer one.

by Sanchita Fleming
Ottawa, Canada

• 1. Sri Chinmoy, Seventy-Seven Thousand Service-Trees, part 16, Agni Press, 1999

Even though it happened 20 years ago, I still remember in detail the day when everything began. At the time I was living in Halle an der Saale, a small town in Sachsen-Anhalt. One Saturday evening in summer I was driving home after swimming when I suddenly had the idea to pay a short visit to a friend of mine, a sculptor. Just as I entered his garden, a group of women were leaving. My friend told me that they were coming from Nuremberg every Saturday afternoon to hold a meditation class at his place. "Oh", I thought, "I am interested in that!" By this time I had developed a great inner hunger for spirituality by reading some important books.

I went back the following Saturday. Unfortunately, it was not the same women whose cheerful smiles I remembered well. It was a man who was teaching the class. At this point the group was more advanced and was already meditating the way they usually meditate at the Sri Chinmoy Centres. I could not quite follow. After all, I had never consciously meditated and never received any kind of introduction to meditation. Then I looked at Sri Chinmoy’s books on display, saw his smiling picture on the cover of the book Happiness and thought, "Well, nobody has the capacity to be always happy. This can’t be something authentic; probably it is a sect."

And that is how far it went for me. Nevertheless, I made contact with the man because I planned to move to Nuremberg to study. Maybe I would be able to work for him and make some money, I thought. In the period before moving to Nuremberg, I meditated once in a while following some instructions and otherwise tried to get ready for my new era in Nuremberg.

My move opened a new world for me: anthroposophy. Anthroposophy is a field under the humanities, founded by Rudolf Steiner. It had a great influence on many areas of life – pedagogy, agriculture, art, etc. The Waldorf schools are its best known exponents. I wanted to study eurhythmy, a kind of dance form which visualises music and language through movement. Eurhythmy is very spiritual and is entirely the child of anthroposophy – something quite complicated but most beautiful. I therefore thought that this would be enough in the field of spirituality and that I would not need much else. But as life goes on, one thing follows the other and doors that we did not see before open up all of a sudden.

At some point, the man who had taught the meditation class invited me to go to a fair on the esoteric to help him at his booth there. Since I had never done such a thing, I eagerly agreed. At the age of 21 one is open to the whole world! During the ride I had endless opportunities to ask questions. At the fair, I listened to a music recording by the Nuremberg Sri Chinmoy Centre. It really touched my heart, even though it sometimes seemed a bit off key. I had to have the tape, and someone offered it to me. I still have this tape, and when I listen to it, all those beautiful memories come back... All this happened in 1990, a year after the change in East Germany that set so many things in motion.

When we returned to Nuremberg that evening, I was so inundated by everything that very little was needed for me to feel that I should be part of the group the nice class instructor belonged to. When we said good-bye, he gave me the book Meditation by Sri Chinmoy as a gift and said, "You seem to have the vibration of a disciple."

I went into my apartment, sat on my bed and cried out of gratitude and happiness. At this very moment I know I inwardly became a disciple of Sri Chinmoy and he let me onboard his boat. What happened next? I asked for details about the meditation class and then went to the Sri Chinmoy Centre. The only thing I knew was not to expect anything special. That was a good thing, since I had no special experiences but only felt joy going there. At some point I submitted my picture, but I already knew that I would definitely be accepted by Sri Chinmoy. What else could I have done?

What else is left to say? Gratitude is the only word that comes to me. I am grateful that my life went in this direction, that I found such a great Master and friend who ceaselessly inspires me and lightens my life’s burdens. It is a precious gift, and I am happy to be a part of this beautiful, cheerful family of Sri Chinmoy’s disciples.

We can find Sri Chinmoy only through the heart. Even with limited receptivity we can feel deep within what he can do for us, even if we are not meant for his path. What he gives is so universal, so all-encompassing and illumining that anybody can profit from it. His music, his books and his paintings are portals for anyone to enter into a world of inner upliftment and fulfilment. An open heart and a searching mind are the only requisites.

My search started when I was 15 years old. It all happened very quickly. I just kind of decided that there must be a deeper meaning to life and I didn‘t want to follow in the footsteps of the rest of the world and my parents. So I started searching for a deeper truth. I was going to go into the woods and realise God. I started doing Hatha Yoga and meditating, and I carried this book around in my pocket called How to Survive in the Woods.

I grew up in Queens and I went to Jamaica High School. One day I had just gone to a party, and I was so disillusioned with the world. I was walking down Hillside Avenue when I saw a poster with a picture of Guru. I thought, "Wow!" I was looking for a teacher. The poster had a phone number on it, but I had no pen with me. So I took out my book 'How to Survive in the Woods' and scratched in the phone number with my key.

The next day I called this number and got Dulal on the phone. He was a prominent disciple of Guru‘s who took care of this kind of thing. I told him that I had just turned 16 a week earlier. He said, "Then you probably have long hair?" I said, “No." Then he said, “You probably take drugs?" And I said, "No." So then he said, "All right, you can come on Thursday." I was deeply grateful and mentioned that I had read, "When the seeker is ready, the Master will appear". He replied, "Let us see".

Things were a little different in those days (1970). The meditations were in Guru‘s house. For some reason I thought I should wear white, because I was wearing white. I actually got to Guru‘s house early. The door to the front porch was open. I walked in and Guru was sitting there on his couch. I didn‘t know what to do. I was just a kid! I remember I was actually standing in front of Guru, kind of flapping my arms. I got very nervous and Guru asked me who I was. I answered, “Dulal invited me to come." Guru said, “Oh, very good. Please come back in 15 minutes."

So I came back and I remember waiting outside Guru‘s house with some of the disciples. I was very shy so I didn‘t say anything, but I was amazed how pure everyone looked. When we got inside, Guru had a meditation. It was in the main room of Guru‘s house. Guru asked all the disciples to come up and meditate. There were only about 30 people. As soon as I saw Guru, I saw a holy light around him, and I knew Guru was my Master.

People were getting up and I actually thought I was a disciple. So I started getting up. I was standing, but it was too late – everybody else was already up there meditating. Then everybody came back to their seats. Guru saw me standing there and said, “Now, new people come up and meditate." So I went up and meditated and that was it. I just knew from the moment I saw Guru that he was my teacher.

I lived in Miami for ten years. It is the longest that I have lived in any one place. I came to Miami as a student, became a disciple of Sri Chinmoy, and stayed on there to work. Lunthita and I also started a centre in Hialeah, a largely Hispanic neighborhood, at Guru’s request.

In the summer of 2001, I had a dream where Guru asked me to come to his house in the evenings to water his plants. Even in my dream I found myself saying, "But Guru, I live in Miami". Guru did not reply.

The dream was so vivid and so unusual that I called New York to see if I could ask Guru about it. Guru was told about the dream and said, "I am very proud of her. She can come to New York if she wants to." I was happy but did not feel that I had to move since Guru had requested Lunthita and me to work on building the Hialeah Centre.

In November of 2001, the president of the company where I was working told me that he wanted to move the office from Miami to New Jersey and that if I wanted to stay with the company I would also need to move. He knew about my spiritual life and said that I should ask Guru. I asked, but for three months there was no reply.

When I returned from the Christmas trip I still did not have an answer. In February my boss told me that I had three weeks to make my decision. I asked Guru again through one of his secretaries, and the answer came back: 'Fine.' My boss wanted me to move immediately, and so in a matter of three weeks, I packed my clothes and some books in my car, loaded the car on the train and moved to New Jersey.

In about three months after coming to New Jersey, my job came to an end. The company was not doing well and had to let me go. And then I crashed my car. I had no easy way to go from New Jersey to New York, but a part of me was really afraid of the big city, so I continued to live in New Jersey and look for jobs there.

Finally, after six months of futile search, it came to me that it did not make sense to stay in New Jersey without a job and a car, when Guru was in New York. So I asked Guru if I could move to Queens.

Coming to New York was not so bad. I still did not have work, but I could spend all my time at Aspiration-Ground (where Sri Chinmoy would meditate with his students) or running errands and being with Guru. It was blissful. Even now I wonder how I survived over a year without any money coming in, but I believe Guru took away all my anxieties. Guru’s poem "My child, do not plan, do not plan. I have everything planned for you..." was my daily inspiration and I strongly felt that the perfect job that I needed was being created for me. I also felt that Sri Chinmoy knew everything and I did not have to outwardly tell him anything.

I had applied for a teaching position to a college in Manhattan that had a couple of openings in my field. The day before the interview I received a call from Guru. This for me was totally unprecedented. Guru told me that he was concerned that I did not have a job and that I should take any job, whatever it might be. I had the opportunity to tell him about the interview the following day. He also inquired very closely about my financial situation. I told him that I would be fine for a few more months. He said that if I did not tell him if I was short of money, then he would sue me in the court of the Supreme 1. Guru’s concern touched me immensely.

The interview went well. The day after the interview I was sitting at Annam Brahma writing a thank-you note to Guru for his concern. As I was writing the note, a call came from the provost of the college making me a formal offer. I had the opportunity to include that in my note.

But the story does not end here. The job offer came in May but college did not start until September. So that summer I used every opportunity that I had to be around Guru. One day after a Saturday morning race, Guru ended with a particularly heart-melting race prayer-song: 

I love my Lord, I love my Lord.
Therefore, I cry and cry.
I need my Lord, I need my Lord.
Therefore, I try and try.

Sri Chinmoy 2

As he was leaving, someone came up and said that Guru wanted me to come to his house. In my sweaty running outfit I went to Guru’s house, embarrassed that I had not had a chance to shower and clean up. Guru gave me an envelope with many small birds inside a big bird. He said, "I had wanted to give you some money but it took me so long. Therefore, I have given you some more".

I was stunned – so stunned that I could not even feel or express gratitude. I always feel that Guru’s needs are so much more – he has to take care of so many other people and things. For me, it is only one person that I have to take care of. I prayed to Guru to give me more gratitude in my life.

In September I started teaching. It was another month before I got my first salary in hand. By then I had really run out of money. If it were not for Guru’s blessing-gift, I would have been in trouble. It is clear that he knew everything...and that he took care of everything.

The lines come back:

My child, My child, do not plan; do not plan! I have already planned everything for you. Just play with me and play for Me. I shall not fail you. I shall not only take you to your destined goal but also give you My Heart of infinite Love and My Eye of infinite Compassion.

Sri Chinmoy 3

• 1. 'Supreme' was Sri Chinmoy's favourite word to refer to God, or the Highest
• 2. Sri Chinmoy, Enthusiasm, part 6, 2004
• 3. Sri Chinmoy, Fifty-four morning prayer-cries and morning meditation-smiles, Agni Press, 1988

As a relatively new disciple, I was really fortunate in that my good friends at the Ottawa Centre would take me down to New York a lot! Between 2005 and 2007, I would spring at literally every opportunity I got. Looking back, I am extremely grateful to have been able to see Guru so much in those two years. I had no idea at the time how much I would come to cherish all of those moments.

I recall one time in 2006 when the Christmas trip had just ended, and a car load of us who hadn’t seen Guru for about three months eagerly made the journey to Queens. After the morning function I had this really restless feeling; I was so full of energy and really needed something to do. The first idea that struck me was to go to Kritagyata’s house and see if they needed help with anything there. Sure enough, a project was in the works, so a few girls and I got right to it.

After a couple of hours Kritagyata came running in, "Go outside! Guru is here!" I was shocked and really excited that Guru had come. (Talk about being in the right place at the right time!) When we went outside, Guru was right out front sitting in the passenger seat of a car with the window rolled down. He was calling us: "Come, come.", He proceeded to hand each of us a sandwich, one by one.

When I went to take mine I looked into Guru’s eyes and time seemed to freeze; I had never physically been that close to Guru before, and the power of his presence was so striking. I felt like he knew everything about me and was looking directly into my soul. I felt Guru pouring all of his love into me and it brought tears to my eyes. I had never felt that loved by anyone before in my life.

I inwardly tried to bring my gratitude to the fore but I felt like Guru’s gratitude toward me was way stronger than any gratitude I could show him. It was really overwhelming. After what felt like a long time, but in reality was probably only a few seconds, Guru nodded his head as he placed the prasad into my hands.

I found a quiet spot to go eat my sandwich; I just sat there in silence, basking in Guru’s light. That was the first time I ever had an eggplant hero. Now they are a favourite, as I am reminded of this special day every time I eat one. I never thought that a sandwich could be a catalyst for such a beautiful spiritual experience!

by Brahmacharini Rebidoux
St. John's, Canada

Though we all share the same spiritual path, our Guru, Sri Chinmoy, deals with each soul that he has accepted individually and uniquely, calling them forward, upward, and inward in just the way each disciple needs.

One of the ways in which he has dealt with me, since pretty much the beginning of my disciple life, has been through dreams – very vivid, very illumining communications of spiritual meaning, instruction, comfort, etc., usually with Guru being directly present in the dream.

One inspiring dream I had came right at the beginning of my disciple life, when I was a Master’s student in philosophy and, while not irreligious, was looking for God (as philosophers generally do) in the form of impersonal 'Truth'. I was having difficulty with Sri Chinmoy's path because I was feeling that it was too devotionally oriented and not intellectually rigorous enough.

Guru, of course, could have just laughed at my mind; but instead, he communicated to me just what I needed to know in a way that was illumining while also not being simply dismissive of the mind.

I had a dream in which I was, with other disciples, at a great banquet. Everyone was eating most ravenously, but I, sitting off by myself, refused to eat because I didn’t like the spoon that I had been given. I kept trying to get the servers’ attention so that I could get another spoon, but they were ignoring me. Suddenly Guru was beside me, and in the most tender, but also bliss-filled voice, he said to me: “Once you taste the soup, you will see that it does not matter which spoon you use". The spoon, of course, I understood to be the path, and the soup to be God.

And now, many years later, in teaching philosophy and religious studies at university in Newfoundland, I still feel – or rather, I feel ever more and more – the potency of the illumination of that dream. No matter which religion I teach, I try to realise God’s presence and light and unique manifestation in that tradition. When I teach Islam, I become as though a Muslim in my heart; when I teach Buddhism, I’m a Buddhist; when I teach Christianity, a Christian; etc. And in so doing, I have never felt Guru or Guru’s path to be far away from me. He has all along been right there, it seems, studying and teaching and even 'realising', right along with me and inside of me. And ever more and more have I felt, therefore, the growing and steady presence of the Supreme Beloved – who, for me, is 'Truth' personalized – hidden within all traditions and within all things, to which Guru has ever been pointing and leading us all.

by Pushpa rani Piner
Ottawa, Canada

This story is transcribed from audio interviews, which are also available to listen to below.

I started about twenty years ago. I was 24, and it was really the farthest thing from my mind, meditation and the spiritual life. I was very much involved in the outer life, going to university, I was working as a model, and I was very much involved – as much as you can be involved – in the outer world. I thought this would bring me a lot of happiness, but inside I was really feeling just so much longing for something, and I wasn’t finding it, not matter what I did in my outer life.

So one day I was downtown in Toronto, just walking down the street, and I saw this poster. It said ‘Meditation’ and I just wrote it down and I decided to go to the class. I was not looking at all, it just looked like something that would be interesting. I remember the day very clearly, because I got up in the morning, I was getting ready, and I felt some kind of inner joy in the morning, before I went to the class. Then I was walking to the class and I almost felt as if I was floating, I just was having this kind of experience which I had never had before. So I got to the class and I was sitting at the very back and as soon as the speaker started talking, I felt just so absorbed in what he was saying. I was writing every single thing down, and at the break I ended up moving to the front of the class and I happened to meet someone else I knew there. The class finished, I walked home, and I just remember, I had never had that experience before, and I didn’t know what it was, I just knew I had never felt so light and so happy compared to how I had ever felt in my life before. So of course I continued with the classes, and I have continued ever since, I have really gained so much from being part of the Centre.

Having a teacher

I think that everything that I had wanted to be, in a certain way, having a teacher has manifested that in a way that I couldn’t even expect or imagine would happen. On my own it was so difficult to get things going, to move forward without blocks everywhere. But somehow having a teacher, it inwardly guides you to the things that you truly know that you want, but sometimes they manifest in a way that you may not have expected or that you would not have been able to do on your own.

When I first saw Sri Chinmoy was also in Toronto, we were headed to the airport and I had no idea what to expect. There were all these people there, so many people waiting for Sri Chinmoy. He arrived, and for myself it felt almost like this giant is walking; I had just never had that experience before. He just walked by, and he just looked at me just for a second, and I felt so much joy in my heart. Just for a second he looked; no smile or anything, just a look, and he left.

The second time I saw him was at Annapurna restaurant in Toronto, and we were doing a walk-by meditation - a meditation where you are walking by the teacher. So I walked by Sri Chinmoy, and I felt as if someone had unlocked my heart. I had never felt my heart before that, I had never ever felt it. So, I will never forget that experience, it was probably the most meaningful experience of my life.

I guess the most amazing discovery for me since Sri Chinmoy passed on, is that when you have a teacher of his calibre, that the relationship really does go beyond the physical, that you can have a lot of guidance, and that the teacher can really continue to mould you, if you are connected with him. All it takes is that effort to connect with your teacher, to meditate every day. It really is an eternal relationship.

My parents and Sri Chinmoy

Id like to share one experience that is quite meaningful to me, that I had while Sri Chinmoy was on earth. That was with my mother. I’d like to share it because it really shows how when you change, and when you spiritually change, the people around you can also change and are also affected, because we are so interconnected and we really affect each other. So when I first came to meditation, my mom was really afraid, she was really scared, because it is not something that is really part of our culture, meditation and having an Indian teacher, so she was quite scared about what I was getting into. She really did not approve of it. So, as the years went on, she started to come around a little bit, and change a little bit. She told me one day ‘I cannot argue with Sri Chinmoy any more. You are just as happy as when you were a little child.’ She really had absolutely turned around, and she was showing Sri Chinmoy’s books to her friends, because she saw so many changes in me.

When she passed away, it was not under the best circumstances, it was quite a difficult situation. So I was really worried about what would happen to her, and so I sent a message to Sri Chinmoy, and I told him what happened. He sent me this beautiful message back, and he said ‘I bless your mother’s soul profusely, and I bless your father’s heart as well.’. So when I got that message, I felt so much more security and happiness about it. And then that night, I had a dream of my mom, and she was looking so beautiful, so healthy and happy, she was wearing a white sari, and she was outside our car, and the car door was open, and she had all her luggage. An I was there, I was crying and I said ‘But I want to go with you, I want to go too’.  And she said ‘Don’t worry, you can also come’, and so then we got together in the car, and we just drove off. And when I woke up in the morning, I felt such an inner joy, and I really feel that that dream was a significant sign to me that Sri Chinmoy really had done something inwardly for her, and the dream was a way of showing me that. I’m just so happy that my mom also got to know Sri Chinmoy, and got to change in that way. My father as well. To me it is amazing - when you change yourself, you see that everything around you does change.

by Namrata Moses, New York

I began seeking the spiritual life very young. My family was very spiritual. We were from North Carolina. My grandparents were both ministers, and I was at church every weekend. I worked on our family farm during the week.

At age six, I was in a favorite part of the woods, when I saw a white figure up in the sky. It felt like the Christ to me. I was mesmerized for days!

One time, I had an inner experience when reading Don Quixote. I don't know where I was but I felt this quietness come over me, from the top of my head right down through my body. It was like a desert where everything was so peaceful, the kind of peace I never felt before in my life. It was a good experience, but I became afraid because I didn't have any control over it and I didn't know how to get out of it, so I prayed to God to save me. I don't know how long it took for me to come back to normal.

Later, I moved to Manhattan, New York City. I worked at Long Island College Hospital. I eventually caught up with my education in New York, with a work scholarship for my Bachelor’s degree, majoring in history and education from Lehman College in the Bronx.

I first saw Sri Chinmoy’s picture during the mid-70s when I was attending a meditation at the house of a former student of his, who was now teaching another kind of meditation. I remember seeing the picture, of Sri Chinmoy in a red dhoti on the wall - during the meditation, the picture would disappear into the wall. I felt that that picture kept saying ‘no’ to me, that this meditation was bad for me and I should not continue with it.

I was not satisfied with that meditation, so I left. However, as a result of attending that meditation, I started becoming disturbed by paranormal problems such as seeing lions and leopards while driving, which made me afraid to drive. I didn’t know what to do, to better control what I was seeing. I could also see what was going to happen the day before. I didn’t like it one bit! I wanted someone to show me how to control these problems.

Becoming a disciple of Sri Chinmoy

One day, a friend and I attended a meditation with Sri Chinmoy at All Angel’s Church in Manhattan. It was a strange experience, meditating with Sri Chinmoy in person. He said wordlessly to me, “Come.” I said, “No.” I finally told him inwardly that if he got rid of my problems, I’d be his disciple (or student) for the rest of my life. He meditated with me.

After this meditation, everyone in the group was willing to try meditating with Sri Chinmoy— except me. However, Sri Chinmoy later appeared to me in a dream, removing all my problems. I promised him then I’d be his disciple. Forever.

We had Centre meetings on Friday nights; attendance was compulsory. Sri Chinmoy - who I now call ‘Guru’ - talked to us lovingly like we were his children; which we are, his spiritual children. It was so great. Most of all, he emphasized we were not to pay attention to what others said about meditating on the Path, to only be guided by our own aspiration, not swayed by other people’s likes or dislikes.

When I first started meditating, my thoughts were jumping all over the place. I offered these interruptions to Sri Chinmoy in my meditations. After I consciously offered up these interrupting thoughts, I was able to continue meditating more easily and peacefully.

During my first years as Sri Chinmoy’s disciple, I had very little money. Sometimes I was wondering where I would get money for the basic things I needed. One day I was at a meditation meeting with Guru, and he was asking what kind of work we did. I told him that I wasn't working, and he said that I should go to the United Nations to get a job. I did not get a job at the U.N, but I did get a job working in the hotel next to the UN because I had worked in math in school.

Guru kept working these kinds of miracles in my life. For example, after getting my Bachelor’s, Guru suggested I get my Master’s. So I did, specialising in early education. While I’d struggled with my first degree, I got all A’s for my second degree from City College of New York in Manhattan. Not bragging, just saying. Little did I know I’d teach 20 years at ABSW in Harlem, and five years as director of Albany Day Care Center.

I had five children, and here Guru really saved my life. My children were very demanding and I did not know what to do with them. It was a frustrating time for me; I could not concentrate or think straight. My oldest son was Guru’s worst critic; he used to criticise Guru all the time. But Guru changed him; he had a dream where Guru warned him that he had to stop what he was doing. At that time my son had no job, but Guru told him that he was a good boy and that he would never be without a job. Now, he has had a good job with the government for many years, and he always helps me financially to come to our annual Christmas Trip. Similarly, Guru has helped my other children and changed their lives for good.

The only other time I had no control over my life was when I became sick with a nervous breakdown for two weeks. I was in the hospital not knowing who I was or anyone around me. I could see Guru watching over me in a subtle physical form right in the hospital room, and when I was able to talk I was trying to show the visitors and nurses, but they could not see him. According to the doctors, my sickness was because of a bad marriage and me not being able to cope with it.

Another thing I would like to thank Guru for is teaching me how to love myself. According to Guru, when you learn to love God, you are truly able to love yourself and others. My father had passed away and I really did not like the way he had treated me. I informed Guru about his passing and went to the meditation function with Sri Chinmoy that evening, which was held in the local high school. As I passed by Guru, I felt him scolding me inwardly, saying that I had to forgive my father. Of course, I was shocked, but I began to work on it and I realised that forgiving my father was like having an elephant lifted off my back.

Sports

Previously, I’d no sports background other than hitting a baseball, because my father played baseball on weekends. Guru once asked who would like to enter a 24-hour bicycle race. My question was, where would I get a bike? Well, someone got me a bike. I rode all night with Guru in Central Park—and our Sri Chinmoy cycling team won it! I don’t know how many miles I biked. But I enjoyed it, because I had no more problems appearing before me, absolutely none. Guru had taken away all my problems.

Thereafter, we moved from riding bikes to our Centre Sports Day. I entered the 100- and 200- meter races, also threw shotput and javelin. I was a champion for a while in my age category, winning 10 Master’s medals. One time, Guru asked us all who could run the New York City Marathon. I volunteered, and I completed it, even though I had not done any training. That first marathon turned out to be my fastest time. I went on to do the 12-hour walk four times, two NYC marathons and six Sri Chinmoy Marathons.

Africa

In 1987, the global Sri Chinmoy Oneness-Home Peace Run began. I went to Africa twice that year, the first time with Peace Run. There were two boy students and another French girl on this first Africa trip. We went to eight countries, including Ghana, Liberia and Senegal. In West Africa, I felt that I had been there before in a previous incarnation, as a nun. I really did. Upon returning, Sri Chinmoy blessed me with my spiritual name. Namrata means “humility.”

I was asked to return, to give meditation classes. I asked Guru how to raise funds for my second Africa trip. He suggested a yard sale, which raised $2,000 in two weeks thanks to donations from disciples. I asked our Centre leader Sunil how to represent Guru; he told me not to worry, Guru would speak in and through me. I don’t remember what I said at those classes. I felt that it was Guru talking, not me. In Sierra Leone, 127 people signed up to continue meditating with us. This is another example of Sri Chinmoy calls surrender to the Highest, not doubting or fearing about what will happen in the future. Just do it!

I’m in my early eighties, as I tell my story in 2019. I continue sharing Guru’s spiritual philosophy in different ways. I love counting at our various races, such as the annual Sri Chinmoy Self-Transcendence 3100 Mile Race, the world’s longest certified footrace. At my senior’s book club, we read and discuss his books like The Jewels of Happiness. Through over four decades of meditating with Sri Chinmoy, I would not want to change even one day!